There, while jumping across a small creek chasing a goat (we don’t have the time to get into it), I faceplanted on a wet rock. For a second, I lay motionless, my feet still in the water. When I looked up, I saw the goat, grimacing, only to kick some dust into my face and run straight back. That day, I swore, that I would come back, and burn these pristine lands into nothingness, take hostage of its life and make mockery of its untouched beauty. I would butcher the very trees that give it life, level it to complete flatness and force its children to bear witness to the naked humiliation. Luckily, we already do that. For golf. 

I’ve always been fascinated with golf, despite being only an occasional player myself. Now, I don’t like the sport because of some noble or reasonable reason like “enjoying the sport” or “connecting with friends”. I like golf for the same reason young women with confidence issues like guys with the emotional maturity of a scared chihuahua; I believe I can fix it. 

My fascination with the sport started at the age of 12 when me and a few friends (illegally, I assume) snuck into a golf club in Scarborough. I don’t even remember what for. But what I do remember hiding in a little cabin when someone approached the little shaded area. There, we watched as a fairly older gentleman trotted in with a young and attractive woman. She fell into his arms and they kissed, sharing a little giggle. I remember thinking “Wow, that guy must be so cool. I should play golf”. Looking back, definitely extremely weird that a guy was sneaking around with a woman probably less than half his age. But the fact remained that for the next few years of my life, golf was something that was always at the back of my mind. 

Despite the sport’s relative simplicity, the technology involved is something to marvel at. From small changes like switching to metal clubs for higher accuracy to absolute game changers like GPS Rangefingers that can accurately measure a terrain and give distances, allowing players to choose relevant strategy. It’s no wonder that the industry is now worth more than $100 billion. 

Now, let’s not let the fact that golf is often considered the sport equivalent to Bud Light cloud the fact that some incredibly talented players answered its call. There is a reason Tiger Woods’ name is brought up alongside other GOATs like Micheal Jordan and Muhammad Ali. And in this category, I include Gary Woodland. Despite suffering a brain tumor and regular seizures, he refused to retire, playing in the PGA until he physically couldn’t. When asked about why he came back, he simply said, “The last thing I’m going to let this do is let this thing in my head stop my dreams”. He partially credits his recovery to the physical exertion in the sport and the community he felt from it. 

What I’m trying to say here is that our health is our greatest asset. As they say in Arabic, “Health is a crown that the healthy wear, but only the sick can see”. For all the ill will golf can elicit from the public, if that’s what gets you going out and spending time in the sun, I don’t see the harm in it. People have acquired crowns in far less savoury ways.